She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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