How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
