I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
