Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
