worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
