Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
