she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize