So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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