saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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