i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
