its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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