Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
