So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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