She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
