It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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