did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
