I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
