Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
