when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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