That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
