Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
