just tell him i said nine months
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
