ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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