Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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