Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
