If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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