I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
