I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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