Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
