tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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