We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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