we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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