Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
