I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
