Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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