I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
