and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
