So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
