good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
