It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
