What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
