After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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