I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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