so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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