It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize