Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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