I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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