dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
