if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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