Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
