I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
