You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
