I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
