dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
