love makes seman taste better
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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