Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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