I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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