We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
