I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
