I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
