I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
