Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
