Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize