Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
accomplished twins. life is a go
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
